Moonlit Dawn
by akanikunimitsu
Summary: An open letter to Mamo-chan Even if we had no yesterday that bound us. Even if we had to tomorrow that we look forward to. Even if we had only today. Then today will be enough for me.


Mamo-chan;

Springtime is the most beautiful season of all. One can argue about it otherwise, because spring will always be the most beautiful season for me. It will always be the most beautiful season—even if.

I was very young when I first met you, so fragile and living in the present. I had to dreams that would distinctly shape my future, and my past was nothing but a frail memory of a happy life that I live in. You on the other hand were at the peak of your youth, your future was more distinct than mine was; and your past was nothing but a tragic memory that hunts you even in your sleep.

Your snide comments have always managed to stab me like a knife. But truth be told, each time you did make one, I was glad that you did, because I felt like you somehow cared—in an very unconventional way, you did care for me, like an older brother you silently watched over me. Your personality has always been a mystery to me, much like the tuxedo that you wear each time you appeared when I was in distress. You were like a figure in the shadow trying to hide from the light of the sun, yet appears in the dark of the night to bask in the moonlight.

But even if, our personalities somehow clash and collide, you became a part of me. My day-to-day existence began to find its completeness in you. The day would pass and I look forward to bumping into you on the street, waiting for the next smart thing you say that would snap me out of my immature mind set. Because in reality, Mamo-chan, you saved me more than the times that I have saved you. You saved me from the moment I first met you, and you saved me every day since then; because of you, I found a reason to live each day, and live it to the fullest.

I knew I was not the type of person that you would fall in love with, after all, may amongst us; I would be the least pretty in your eyes. It was no wonder that you fell for Rei the first time around; she was after all more prim and proper compared to me. Her hair was worn in a fashion that most beautiful women would. She dresses better than me, and acts more mature than I do, even if we are of the same age. When you started going out with her, somehow I felt happy, because you found someone who could compare to you beauty. A beauty that is not only on the external; because after all Mamo-chan, you have a beautiful heart.

Then our normal happy life turned upside down. Not that it was ever normal to begin with. But as the dangers became more obvious and difficult to deal with; so did things began to unfold, and somehow deep within me, there was hurting and longing, yet I tried my best to be happy for you. And each time I see you come to rescue me, I ask myself, not only of your true identity, but of what you truly mean to me. Sure, I was obviously head-over-heels in love with your person as Tuxedo Mask. But who were you? And what have I fallen in love with?

When our memories were renewed, when we first found out who we truly were; although I was so happy, I felt hurt and pain within me, because I knew Rei was hurting too. And although I knew I've lived all my life and back, I couldn't understand why we couldn't have been in love with each other earlier? Why we had to go through everything that we went through? And why did Rei have to get hurt in the process?

Then you died, and my heart broke into a million pieces. I wanted to die all over again. Because you were gone. Why did I have to realize who you were only to see you die once again?

Then you were revived and started working for the enemy, and we struggled and fought each other. And although it pained me so much, I kept longing for you. I kept wanting to save you. And although our story was not your typically fairy tale, I still wanted this story to progress and develop. I dreamt that this story would have its own happy ending, like every fairy tale I know.

When you finally came back to me, when you finally loved me again, when I was starting to be happy again, you wanted to break up with me. In the end, I learned that you were only trying to protect me. But did it have to be so painful Mamo-chan? Did I have to cry so many tears?

Over and over, we get separated and re-united. Over and over, I longed for you. Over and over and over.

When Chibiusa came, although I often get jealous of her, each day I grew more and more in love with you. Especially after we found out that, she was actually our daughter. I saw how good a father you were, always protecting her and me. You were always the reliable one Mamo-chan, even when I was not as reliable, especially in taking care of our daughter; yet you loved me still.

Then that time came when you asked for my hand in marriage, then suddenly you stopped communicating with me; and Seiya came. And I have to admit, for a moment I may have betrayed you by looking at his eyes. And yet somehow, each time I did I still saw your eyes, and the longing to see you and hear you voice just kept growing and growing inside. And when I finally learned that, you were gone. I felt like my world just lost all its light, and although I fought until the end, loosing you; losing all of you was the end my dreams. Then you came back to life again, and it was as if it was nothing more than a scary nightmare that I had.

Everything we went through, and everything we were going to go through. I feel like I'll lose you and regain you all over again. Sometimes it scares me; it makes me ask, will you still love me each time you come back? Will you never get tired of me Mamo-chan? Will we only be reincarnated all over again to suffer and fall in love? Will there be no end?

I ask this Mamo-chan because I don't think you deserve all of these, because you deserve to be truly happy. Safe and happy Mamo-chan. And I don't think you will ever truly be—while you are with me.

That is why Mamo-chan, sleep well tonight; because for tonight all I can do is dream with you. In the night time the moon watches over the earth, but when the sun begins to rise, the moon will continue to watch over the earth from a greater distance. So while I still can Mamo-chan, let me watch over you. While I still have breathe in me Mamo-chan, please let me love you.

Let me love you, so that when the moon stop shining over the earth, the earth would still look up and search for the moon in the sky.


End file.
